Unpleasantries
by suspensegirl
Summary: Chuck has a scarring nightmare that amuses a pregnant Blair surprised by his outburst. CBfutureflufffic- oneshot


A/N: My fingers are freezing but I want to write. Therefore, you must read & review this. XD Just a funny little CB fluff shot I came up with in the midst of talking to awesome friends.

**Dedicated to: projectinglovee(Brittany)**

*I own nothing. Still.

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His body flung up in a flurry in the middle of his sleep. He was breathing hard and there were sweat droplets dripping, absorbing the skin on his forehead. He brought a shaky hand up to his face to calm himself. Then, immediately, as if cursing himself for not investigating sooner, Chuck pulled back the blankets on his side of the bed and his breathing calmed at the feel of a flat stomach beneath his loosely fitting shirt. He turned to his wife sleeping on her side in the opposite direction and looked over at her form, relieved even more so when he found the enlarged bubble of a stomach still sitting contently on her middle. He knew it was real, but he reached his hand out to touch it just in case. Blair moaned in her sleep, and for a moment Chuck was afraid he had woken her, but she had just subconsciously felt him touching her and instinctually laid her hands across his fingers resting on her stomach. His butterflies exploded.

Five minutes later and Chuck could not get back to sleep. He was grateful Blair had not woken when he pulled his hand away. She just turned her body towards him and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. Their body heat always soothed and comforted each other. As a woman pregnant 6 ½ months, Blair had become even more in need of snuggling with the bastard she called her husband. He really had become so sweet to her since his transformation after their high school graduation, and especially at a time like this she enjoyed it – almost thrived on daily outpour.

No matter how please Chuck was at the knowledge that he was accommodating Blair, and quite enjoying the warmth himself, Blair's bubble of a stomach was resting far too close to his own and he fought hard in reminding himself that it belonged to _her_, not him. In all reality, they both had put some effort into making the small being, but it was in _Blair's_ belly, and no nightmare, regardless of its intensity could deny that reality. At least, Chuck hoped that was the case.

_"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do, son. That baby is there to stay."_

Chuck's eyes flung open. He turned his head to check the clock resting on the small table beside the bed. _Only five minutes_. Five minutes he had been asleep, and still the nightmare refused to leave him alone. Touching and feeling was simply not enough, he decided. He needed to investigate his reflection _himself_. He looked down to Blair's arm draped across his stomach and saw the peaceful expression gracing her facial features. The awestruck feeling that had welled up in within him from the sight should have been enough to keep him in bed and snuggled next to his loving wife.

But alas, it was not.

The second he was in the bathroom, he pulled off his shirt and examined his stomach closely. He pushed it out, sucked it in, turned in circles slowly to see how it looked at every angle…and could find no bulge anywhere. He sighed, dejectedly. _It's just a dream, you idiot. Go back to bed!_ He glared straight on ahead at nothing, annoyed at himself for his own cursed thoughts.

He sighed, standing there still in front of the mirror fifteen minutes later. He simply would not allow himself to go back to bed. Five minutes of almost sleep had brought the images rushing back, and maybe he would find it funny in the morning or in a couple days – Blair definitely would – but for now they haunted him and he would not continue to let them have such control.

_"Doctor, I'm afraid we've come across something serious," Blair said, holding the older man's gaze like it was life or death._

_ "Ah yes, I see that. Come here, son. Let me get a good look at that belly of yours," he said in grave seriousness. _

_ Chuck walked forward meekly, his shoulders slumped, and his demeanor clearly saddened by the current circumstance. None of his normal cocky confidence shown through, and it did not help that everyone seemed to be feeling the same way. Chuck plopped himself onto the sheeted leather bed, and the doctor pulled back his shirt to reveal enough of a bulge to confirm six months of pregnancy._

_ "Hmm," the doctor said, pulling out a magnifying glass from his pocket, which Chuck could not understand since the thing was three times what would be called the 'normal' size, and examined the roundness of Chuck's stomach. "Tell me about the transition," he continued, seeming to have the need to analyze every pore on Chuck's Bass's middle section._

_ "Well, it was about two months ago," Blair said, taking a seat against the wall. _

_ "Mmm?"_

_ "My stomach was really starting to show, as it is supposed to after the third month…but then I noticed it had gotten a little smaller than some weeks before."_

_ "How odd," the doctor observed._

_ "Tell me about it," Chuck muttered. Some of his cockiness seemed to have returned, but it was definitely overly laced with frustration._

_ "Go on," the doctor said, turning his inspecting gaze towards Chuck. He wasn't glaring, but Chuck was becoming very uncomfortable with the manner in which the doctor was analyzing him. "Mrs. Bass," he smiled at her, turning his face away. She smiled politely in return._

_ "Well, then Chuck's stomach began to enlarge."_

_ The doctor scoffed, and Chuck looked at him in offense as he continued to graze over the outer skin of his stomach. Now he was occasionally pinching and poking him with his cold fingertips. __**He was never becoming a doctor, not with these creeps running around.**_

___"I thought it was his intake of alcohol and made him stop drinking for weeks."_

_ "Mmm," the doctor nodded along._

_ "But it didn't stop the growth. I even had him join a gym and get a personal trainer. But he continued to grow," she sighed, shrugging off what was looking to be a serious problem amongst the three of them. "So," she said, resigned. "We came to you."_

_ "I see," the doctor said, straightening his back and stuffing the magnifying lens back into his pocket as he walked slowly towards the other end of the room. Chuck's eyes widened at the sight of __**no**__ bulge in the older man's back pocket. "Well, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do at this point."_

_ Chuck's eyes flashed to the doctor's form. "What do you mean 'nothing we can do'?" he barked._

_ "Now Chuck," Blair hand reached out to calm him, but he would have none of it._

_ "There's a baby inside of me. That's not normal! How's it supposed to get out?!"_

_ "Well, there are such things as C-sections, Chuck."_

_ He rolled his eyes, annoyed at his wife's common knowledge. "I know that, Bl—"_

_ "Well…" the doctor's voice squeaked, and both brunettes turned their heads in his direction. "This is definitely a special case. I don't think a C-section can be performed, for safety's sake."_

_ The young couple gaped, and Chuck grew even more horrified and ticked off when the doctor chuckled at the situation and his patients' reactions._

_ "The baby has clearly decided where it wants to live and grow for the time being, and nothing you as parents or we as medical staff is going to change that."_

_ Chuck blinked._

_ "I'm afraid your penis is in for the surprise of its life," he chuckled. That final statement, along with the chuckling and carefree demeanor of the doctor echoed throughout his mind. The images began to shift and blur, but still the scene continue to show. It repeated over and over, and soon even his Blair Bass was cackling at the new situation…_

"Chuck?"

"I'm not pregnant!" he jumped up from his seat on the bathroom sink. Apparently he had gone to more examining of his torso and sunken into sleep when he turned his positioning towards the opposite wall. Blair had woken to Chuck not beside her, and being deprived of his warmth and comfort, went searching for him.

This outburst, she could have never predicted.

"What?" she whispered, aghast at his defense. He blinked.

"N-Nothing," he insisted, turning her back around and grabbing his shirt as he led them back to their bedroom. His stuttering was an instant tip off though.

"Chuck, what are you talking about? Nobody said you were pregnant, and you certainly don't look it." He cleared his throat.

"Blair, I think you misheard me. I didn't say anything. I was just…peeing," he ended lamely. She looked at him strangely once she was back in bed. Now she sat, analyzing him, and it reminded him oh so much of the doctor from his dream. She was fully alert now, and clearly was not going to even attempt sleep again without an explanation.

"On the bathroom sink?" she asked, skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"Sometimes, you have to experiment, Blair," he said, still in the process of pulling the blankets back over him. Blair pulled him up with a painful grasp on his thick head of hair when he tried to lay down.

"Chuck," she began sweetly, "You weren't facing the sink."

He sighed aggravatingly.

"Were you planning to stain our wall?" she blinked innocently, and finally he sat up straight beside her, and looked her in the eye.

"No," he ground out.

"Then?" she waved her hand around, waiting in what appeared to be patience for him to answer her obvious question. She smiled brightly, and it annoyed him to no end. He did not want to have to suffer his pride over this.

"I had a dream," he mumbled, barely audible. He turned on his side then and made to be sleeping. Blair caught him before he successfully reached the pillow. He cursed the lack of soft, billowy comfort beneath his head.

"What was that?" she asked, inching closer to his ear.

He sighed testily. "_I had a __**dream**_," he ground out, emphasizing his final word. Blair released him and a victorious smile spread across her face.

"You mean, a nightmare?" she taunted, right into his ear. Chuck closed his eyes in frustration at his loss. He said nothing but turned on his stomach, feeling much more assured that he wasn't rising above the level of the bed. The assurance was so much the only line of rescue from this humiliation that he was willing to turn on his side instead. That way he had more of a block between himself and his now quite amused wife

"Goodnight, Blair!" the muffled call came from within his pillow. Blair's smirk remained, and she snuggled down to his level and into the warmth of heat emanating off his form.

"Don't worry, Chuck," she murmured against him, her fingers trailing along the length of his neck. "I'll try not to poke fun of you _too_ much when I tell Nate and Serena at lunch tomorrow that you had a nightmare about being pregnant," she chuckled.

Chuck groaned audibly.

"Goodnight," she whispered in his ear amidst a few soft giggles.

Chuck bit down hard on the pillow case to release his tension. He now regretted ever deciding to sleep to begin with. He should've known Blair would wake to go find him, and that she would come to the conclusion of his nightmares before he even gave her any real hints. And now he would have three, and no doubt many _more_ people, making him the butt of their jokes by this time tomorrow.

_Great, just great._

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A/N: Haha, aww. Thanks for reading. I'm not completely satisfied with it, but it'll have to do. Please review. ;p


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